What Scripture Taught Me About Healing Shame

I was so ashamed of myself.

I carried the shame of being abandoned by my father, rejected by my mother, being friendless, and my inability to control my sinful nature.

I was convinced my story had too many stains.
There were too many chapters that I didn’t want to read aloud.
There are too many failures to ever be considered qualified.

Shame wasn’t just something I felt.
It became the lens through which I viewed my entire life.

And what it whispered sounded so convincing:

“You’re not enough.”
“You’re not wanted.”
“You’ll never measure up.”

Even after I gave my heart to Jesus, shame still sat heavy on my chest.

I believed in grace, but I couldn’t apply it to myself.

The Day I Realized the truth

Then one day I read a passage I’d seen a hundred times before, but this time, it undid me.  I read it with my concordance to understand the full meaning of the Greek and Hebrew words.

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.— Hebrews 12:2  

The word “despised” isn’t just about being disliked — it means to be rejected so deeply that you’re seen as repulsive, disgusting, even unbearable. 

When Jesus hung on the Cross—exposed, bruised, and broken—He experienced the full weight of that word. It wasn’t just physical pain. It was the emotional and spiritual burden of deep, public shame. 

He took on disgrace so complete that it stripped Him of dignity in the eyes of the world. But here’s the powerful part: Jesus chose to carry that shame so we wouldn’t have to.

 He bore the emotional poison of humiliation so it would never have the final word in our lives. That’s not just a theological concept—it’s personal. It means your worth is no longer up for debate. Your shame was already nailed to the Cross.

“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows… the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds, we are healed.” — Isaiah 53:4–5

I felt like God was saying:

“Daughter, I didn’t just die for your sin.
I carried your shame too.”

And then this:

“Instead of your shame, you will receive a double portion… and everlasting joy will be yours.” — Isaiah 61:7

It hit me like a wave of mercy:
Shame is not my identity.
Shame is not my punishment.
Shame is not my inheritance.

What Is Shame, Really?

Shame is more than embarrassment. It’s more than regret.
Psychologists define it as a feeling of being fundamentally flawed;  as if who you are is unacceptable, not just what you’ve done.

It’s different from guilt.

• Guilt says: “I did something wrong.”
  
  
• Shame says: “There’s something wrong with me.”
  
  

Shame is subtle, but destructive. It keeps us from:

• Stepping into purpose
  
  
• Receiving love
  
  
• Speaking up
  
  
• Trying again
  
  
• Believing we’re enough in Christ
  
  

It makes you shrink.
Hide.
Overcompensate.
Or isolate.

✝️ What Christ Actually Did with Shame

Isaiah 53 doesn't just say that Jesus forgave our sins.
It says He bore our griefs and carried our sorrows.

That means:

• The betrayal that still aches?
  He carried it.
  
  
• The trauma that silences your voice?
  He carried it.
  
  
• The public sin or private addiction?
  Carried.
  
  

Shame tells you to hide.
But Jesus invites you to come.

To show Him the thing you’ve never said aloud.
To bring Him the secret wound you’ve never told anyone about.
To come out of hiding and into healing.

He already saw it.
He already carried it.
And He still chose the cross.

Healing the past with the Holy Spirit

This week, I’m inviting you to try something sacred:

Speak to your younger self.

Let the Holy Spirit bring to mind a memory where shame entered your story.
Sit with it, not alone, but with Him.

And then say what shame never let you say.

You might write:

“I’m sorry no one defended you.
You didn’t deserve that.
But you are not what happened to you.
You are loved. You are valuable. You are desired.”

This isn’t just a journaling tool; it’s a spiritual act of reclaiming truth.
When you speak to her, God heals both of you.

🎁 A Gift to Start Your Healing

If you’ve felt like shame was still shaping how you see yourself, even after salvation, I created a free resource just for you.

✨ UNSHAMED: A 5-Day Devotional for Christian Women

From Hiding to Healing in the Presence of Love

It will guide you through:

• Daily scriptures that expose shame’s lies
  
  
• Gentle reflections and prayers to release what’s still hidden
  
  
• Truth declarations to help you live unashamed
  
  

Click here to download the devotional now.

You don’t have to carry what Jesus already bore.
Let Him rewrite your story.