I tried to become a confident woman.
I read the books.
I repeated the affirmations.
I told myself, “You’ve got this.”
And yet… every time I failed, lost my patience, doubted my calling, shrank back in fear, something inside of me cracked. Because I was trying to build confidence in someone I knew too well.
Me.
And the more I tried to convince myself that I was strong, the more anxious I became, because my brain kept presenting evidence to the contrary.
Have you ever felt that? Like you’re holding two thoughts at once?
“I am powerful.” AND “I am inconsistent.”
That tension is exhausting. And Scripture has a name for it.
“A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” — James 1:8
What if your anxiety isn’t a lack of confidence… What if it’s the strain of trying to be your own savior?
Modern culture preaches self-confidence as salvation.
But here’s the problem.
So you attempt to build belief in yourself while simultaneously watching yourself fall short. That creates cognitive dissonance.
Two opposing beliefs:
I am capable. VS I keep failing.
Your brain is wired with a negativity bias. It notices mistakes. It catalogs flaws. It remembers embarrassment. So the harder you try to convince yourself you’re enough, the more unstable your internal world becomes.
Your identity is tied to performance.
Your performance fluctuates.
Your peace disappears. And depression creeps in because the gap between who you are and who you think you should be feels unbearable.
Self-confidence, at its core, demands that you become your own savior.
But Scripture says something radically different.
“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves… but our sufficiency is of God.” — 2 Corinthians 3:5
That verse is not an insult. It’s a relief.
When we look at David standing before Goliath in 1 Samuel 17, we do not see a man hyping himself up. He does not say, “I believe in me.”
He says:
“The Lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion… He will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine.” (1 Samuel 17:37)
And then the declaration that shifts everything:
“The battle is the Lord’s.” (1 Samuel 17:47)
David’s confidence was not personality-driven. It was covenant-driven. He remembered who his God was. He rehearsed God’s past faithfulness.
He anchored himself in the unchanging divine character. He placed the outcome back in God’s hands.
Imagine the peace of that.
Whatever battle you are facing; motherhood, leadership, healing, obedience, stepping into your calling, the battle is the Lord’s.
Not because you are impressive. But because you are in covenant.
Then we see Gideon in Judges 6–7.
Afraid.
Hiding.
Threshing wheat in secret.
Yet, God calls him “mighty warrior.”
And then God does something astonishing. He reduces Gideon’s army from 32,000 to 300. He deliberately engineers weakness.
Why?
Because self-confidence would steal the victory. God set Gideon up to fail in the natural so that divine power would be unmistakable. This is the pattern of Heaven.
As Paul writes:
“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9
God does not eliminate your weakness. He enters it.
Self-confidence tries to hide weakness.
God-confidence glories in it.
Because weakness is the stage on which God performs.
Self-confidence says:
“I must become strong enough.”
God-confidence says:
“God is strong enough.”
Notice the psychological difference.
With self-confidence:
There is no internal contradiction. No double-minded instability. Just alignment.
My weakness does not threaten my identity. It confirms my need for grace. And grace is stable.
“Cast not away therefore your confidence…” — Hebrews 10:35
Confidence is not discarded. It is redirected.
Here is the verse that takes all pressure off your shoulders:
“Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it…” — Philippians 1:6
He began it.
He sustains it.
He completes it.
James 1:4 says:
“Let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”
This is not self-generated perfection. This is covenant progression. You are not forcing growth. You are being cultivated.
Self-confidence demands immediate mastery.
God-confidence allows patient transformation. And patience produces peace.
At the root of this conversation is a sacred question:
Who is your savior?
Jesus said:
“Apart from Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
And also:
“With God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)
Self-confidence relies on dust. On frailty. On inconsistent human nature.
God-confidence rests on the finished work of Christ.
One says, “Prove yourself.”
The other says, “Receive My mercy.”
One produces anxiety.
The other produces peace.
Where are you striving to prove yourself right now?
Where does failure feel like identity collapse?
What if the battle is not yours?
What if God is inviting you to step out of the arena of self-salvation… and back into covenant?
You were never meant to carry the weight of becoming your own savior. The throne is already occupied. And the King is faithful.
If you’re recognizing yourself in this tension, the striving, the instability, the quiet exhaustion, let’s gently uncover what’s really happening in your mind.
If you’re tired of striving for confidence and ready to experience real peace…
Comment “Peace.”
I’ll send you my private PDF:
“The Three Mind Problems Keeping Christian Women From Peace.”
Inside, I break down the exact thought patterns that create instability, anxiety, and spiritual exhaustion, even in faithful Christian women.
You’ll begin to see:
This PDF is the starting point.
From there, if you recognize yourself in these patterns, you’ll have the opportunity to schedule a conversation with me about what it would look like to rebuild your inner world inside Restored & Renewed.
You don’t need more pressure.
You don’t need better affirmations.
You need a stable foundation.
Comment “Peace.”
And let’s begin there.